As part of our NBH Compass Lectures, a series of parent talks delivered by experts in child development, we delved into the most common challenges parents face when it comes to their children’s sleep. Renowned sleep expert, Linda Russell, affectionately known as the Sleep Lady provided invaluable insights into navigating the world of childhood sleep, from transitioning out of co-sleeping to managing night wakings.

Here are some of our parents’ burning questions which Linda addressed with empathy and expertise.

1. How can we gently transition a toddler from co-sleeping to sleeping in their own bed?
Transitioning a child from co-sleeping to sleeping in their own bed can be a delicate process. It is important to consider the quality of sleep for both the child and the parents. While there’s no right or wrong way for a child to sleep, if co-sleeping is impacting everyone’s rest, it may be time for a change. However, it is essential not to rush the transition or force the child into sleeping alone. Instead, parents can implement a gentle approach by creating a sleeping area near the child’s bed, reassuring them of their presence. As the child starts to sleep through the night more consistently, parents can gently suggest the idea of sleeping on their own. Assure the child that if they wake up during the night, they can call for their parents, who will be nearby to provide comfort and reassurance. This gradual transition allows the child to feel empowered and in control of their sleep environment, reducing any feelings of pressure or anxiety.

2. What are the most effective ways to establish a calming bedtime routine for a little one?
Bedtime battles are common among toddlers who may resist sleep as a way to assert their independence. To establish a calming bedtime routine for your little one, consider a gentle approach that maintains a sense of security and encourages relaxation. Start by encouraging a wind-down period before bedtime, during which stimulating activities like screen time are limited. Instead, opt for calming activities such as reading a book together. This helps signal to your child’s body that it’s time to relax and prepare for sleep.

You can also introduce what Linda refers to as a “sleeping cushion,” explaining that this allows mum or dad to provide a comforting presence during bedtime. Allow them to choose and decorate the cushion and place it beside their bed, signalling that a parent will be nearby until they fall asleep. If your child attempts to leave the bed or engage in disruptive behaviour, calmly inform them that Mummy or Daddy will temporarily leave the room until they are ready to settle down. As your child grows more comfortable with the routine, gradually move the sleeping cushion farther from the bed. This gradual transition encourages independence while maintaining a sense of security.

3. How to address a child’s fear of the dark when putting them to bed?
Children experiencing fear of the dark require empathy and support to overcome their anxiety. The Sleep Lady emphasises the importance of acknowledging the child’s feelings and offering comfort rather than dismissing their fears. Parents can introduce tools such as dream catchers and create a soothing bedtime environment to help alleviate anxiety. By reframing bedtime as a safe, cosy experience and providing reassurance, parents can empower their child to overcome their fear of the dark and sleep more soundly.

4. How can we handle night wakings during illness to prevent them from becoming a habit?
When a child falls ill, night wakings often increase, leading to disrupted sleep for both child and parent. While temporary adjustments may be necessary to provide comfort and support during illness, it’s crucial to resume regular sleep patterns once the child recovers. Linda advises a gradual transitioning back to pre-illness routines, reinforcing the expectation of independent sleep. Consistency is key; the longer spent out of routine, the more difficult it will be to re-establish healthy sleep habits.

5. How can parents help a toddler who consistently wakes up very early in the morning establish a more suitable wakeup time?
Early morning wakeups can be challenging for both parents and children, especially when they occur before a reasonable waking hour. Linda recommends using gentle strategies to encourage later wake-up times, such as gradually adjusting a “wake up” light or implementing a rewards system, such as a “lucky dip bag.” The “wake-up” light, an alarm clock that mimics the rising sun and gradually brightens the room, can help them understand when it’s time to wake up. Start by setting the light to turn on at their current wake-up time, then gradually adjust it forward by 15-20 minutes every few days. This method helps them learn to stay in bed until the light signals it’s time to get up. Additionally, incorporating a “lucky dip bag” with small rewards for staying in bed until the light comes on can be an effective motivational tool. This approach helps children associate staying in bed with positive reinforcement, making it a practical and child-friendly way to manage early waking.

By incorporating these strategies into their sleep routines, parents can create a supportive environment that promotes healthy sleep habits for their children while also ensuring restful nights for the whole family. Each child is unique, so it’s essential to tailor these approaches to suit their individual needs and preferences, ultimately leading to a better night’s sleep for everyone involved.

To find answers to other sleep-related questions, visit Linda Russell’s website The Sleep Lady.